maturing is realising that you're no one's fine shyt and moving on
real life exists beyond the mirror
Another day, another rebranded version of the beauty standard on TikTok. The creators of the ‘fine shyt’ trend probably meant no harm, but after watching a bunch of videos about longing and imaginary scenarios I was reminded of my life before I resolved at the age of 18 that I was indeed ugly and that I was done caring. That was no easy feat: I had spent many years literally crying myself to sleep about how I looked, deleting irreplaceable pictures of core memories and walking around with a heavily distorted image of myself plastered on the forefront of my mind. Never mind this coinciding with the biological time period where your hormones are literally screaming, hey, look at me, be attracted to me!
Now many a Thought Daughter™ will think back to (the Tumblr screenshot (via Pinterest) of) Margaret Atwood's speech on being your own voyeur. There’s not much one can get done comfortably when you suspect someone is peering at your door, is there? Coming to America and noticing the dissonance between online trends and real life (people still wear skinny jeans, shocking!) really made me realise that it's not that deep. Regular old normies were still getting into relationships all the same - though it definitely helped if you were as hot as a TikTok star. Personally, I've realised that I fancy the idea of being liked more than actually being in a relationship. Maybe it's just remnants of a primal thing. But listening to friends actively looking for a talking stage 2 weeks into college reminded me of that ever-present voyeur: the potential of being a romantic partner followed us around the cafeteria, had a seat in our classes, and slept right in our beds. I noticed that it got me when I was concerned about how I looked on my 5-second walk from the bathroom to my bedroom.
Fine shyt is here to stay. It's already been around. It will morph into another trend, with another name. It will encompass the ancient tradition of women whispering advice to one another on how to attract and be admired. Because life just can’t move on without first checking whether it looks attractive or not, right?
But just remember, there is life after the mirror. And, if social media has truly taught me anything, there's nothing more alluring than living your best life.